Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife. I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for! I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home. Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage... ;)
Respond Physically.
Jennifer notes, "Did you know that the way you respond (or don’t respond) to your husband’s romantic overtures has a profound effect on his self-confidence? Don’t slap him away when he tries to hug you or make excuses when he’s in the mood. Your enthusiastic cooperation and reciprocation will not only assure him of your love, but will make him feel well-respected, too."
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 - The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I'm a pretty private person, so I'm not going to share too much about this subject. BUT, I think it is safe to assume that for a lot of women, this is difficult. He is always "in the mood" while I am rarely "in the mood." One of the biggest struggles I have is that every time Hubby kisses me or wants to cuddle or hold my hand, etc, I question his intentions and what he really wants if you catch my drift. This week I tried to not make any smart comments and I just enjoyed the sweet kisses and cuddles. :)
I also think it would be great to take this week's challenge to the next level and initiate some physical moments yourself! Don't wait for him to do it. I'm pretty good about this when it comes to holding hands or a quick kiss here and there...but anything else? Not so much. I have recently stumbled across a blog called The Dating Divas. It not only has some great ideas for fun date nights but they have an entire section dedicated to intimate moments. While a lot of them are cheesy, it can make things fun and give you the courage to initiate some intimate moments of your own. Check it out:
The Dating Divas Intimate Moments. Yes, Hubby and I have used a few of these...but I'm not sharing which. ;)
Good luck and have fun this week! *wink wink*
Psalm 21:1-6
1 O Lord, in Your strength the king will be glad,
And in Your salvation how greatly he will rejoice!
2 You have given him his heart's desire,
And You have not withheld the request of his lips.
3 For You meet him with the blessings of good things;
You set a crown of fine gold on his head.
4 He asked life of You
You gave it to him
Length of days forever and ever.
5 His glory is great through your salvation,
Splendor and majesty You place upon him.
6 For You make him most blessed forever;
You make him joyful with gladness in Your presence.
As I read these verses, I couldn't help but think, "If only our leader was like this...if only he recognized God in all that he did..." Wouldn't our nation, our world be a much different place?
David recognized that everything he was, everything he had was because of the Lord. In these six verses, David references 12 different blessings: gladness, joy, fulfillment of his heart's desire, fulfillment of the request of his lips, blessings of good things, a crown of fine gold, life, length of days forever, glory, splendor, majesty, being blessed forever, and then joy and gladness again. For each and every one of those things mentioned, God is given the credit and glory. Go back and count how many times David says "You" which is a reference to God - it is 12. 12 references to God for 12 blessings in his life. 12 for 12.
There is debate as to whether or not David actually wrote this or if it was Hezekiah or even someone else writing about one king or the other. The Expositor's Commentary even states that this passage "is so idealised or rather spiritualized, that it is hard to suppose that any single monarch was before the singer's mind." I disagree. Knowing what we do of David - that he was a man after God's own heart, I truly think he could have written this passage in one of those moments where everything was going right. We've all had those moments, if only briefly - you are on Cloud 9, floating above the world in utter ecstasy, nothing can bring you down. I think David wrote this Psalm during a joyful moment such as this. He was truly thankful and was giving God the glory. He recognized that "there is no true nobility but of the soul, and the soul has none but what it receives from the grace and salvation of God" (Clarke).
Remember that truth as you go about your day. Did you get a raise this month? Did you somehow manage to pay your bills when you were sure there was no possible way? Did you receive a phone call from someone you really needed to hear from? Or maybe something wonderful happened that you can't quite explain? It was God. All of it. He has given us everything that we have - all the good in our lives can be traced back to Him. Like David, we must remember to give God the glory for every blessing He has given us - 12 for 12.
Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife. I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for! I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home. Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage... ;)
Smile.
Jennifer notes, "Smiles spread happiness. Smiles have even been shown to create happiness. Smiles are contagious. And a smile makes any woman more beautiful."
Proverbs 31:25 - Strength and Dignity are her clothing. And she smiles at the future.
Smiling can do SO much good, from making you more attractive to others to boosting your immune system and lowering your blood pressure. Not only can it do much good for YOU but also for others around you since smiles are known to be contagious! (About.com) Maybe smiling can change your marriage, for if you smile, he will smile, you will both be healthier, happier, and more attractive!
So far this challenge has been interesting. I feel so super cheesy. I think I'm trying too hard - I get that full teeth, I'm smiling for no reason, awkward smile going on. I think it makes me look more like an axe murderer than a loving wife. lol. Since the cheesy fake smile wasn't working for me (and I was receiving some pretty curious looks from Hubby) I decided I needed to smile for real. That meant choosing to be happy even at the end of a really long day. I smiled. And he smiled. And we were so much more pleasant to one another. A good week. A very good week.
Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife. I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for! I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home. Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage... ;)
Be Thankful.
Jennifer notes, "Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Don’t take your husband for granted. Be appreciative for everything he does for you, whether big or small. Always say thank you."
1 Thessalonians 5:18-In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 5:20 - ...always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God...
How often are we stuck trying to figure out what God's will is for our life. When big decisions come up it always becomes a matter of God's will. Well, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us what God's will is for us! To give thanks in everything! That is definitely not easy all of the time.
Especially when we don't think out husbands are doing what they should. I tried extra hard to be appreciative of the things my Hubby did do this week instead of focusing on the things he didn't do. It definitely helped me see that he does more than I realize. For instance - he helped clean up dinner almost every night. I don't know if I never noticed or if he has just stepped up recently, but I'm loving it! I'd thank him for silly things like putting the toothpaste away and he'd ask "Why are you thanking me?" and shake his head. I just told him it was because I even appreciated the small stuff - which is true! I guess I just don't express it enough. To be honest, I failed miserable yesterday though...I gave him a really hard time for not appreciating what I do and going on and on about how he always notices the negative things but can't ever appreciate the good things I do. After a great week of appreciating him, I turned it sour by focusing, again, on what he wasn't doing...and I exaggerated the whole situation at that!
I hope, unlike me, that you remember this week that we are doing this to better ourselves and our marriage, not to keep score.
I also think it is important to note that Ephesians 5:20 says we are to give thanks in the name of Christ to God. That sounds an awful lot like prayer doesn't it? While you are thanking your husband this week for all he does, why not thank God for him while you're at it?
Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife. I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for! I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home. Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage... ;)
Don't Nag.
Jennifer notes, "Your husband is a grown man, so don't treat him like a two-year-old. Leave room for God to work. You are not the Holy Spirit, so do not try to do His job."
First of all, I just want to say *ouch.* That one burnt a little. I never viewed my nagging as stepping on the Holy Spirit's toes... Secondly, I would like to note that we all (as wives) have a very negative view of "nagging." I know I'm not speaking for myself when I say that I really don't want anyone (my husband included) to consider me a nag. And don't you tend to look down on behaviors of other women that you would consider nag-esque? Simply put, we definitely know it is a negative trait no woman actually wants to be associated with....why, then, do we all do it?
Proverbs 31:12 -She does him good and not evil / All the days of her life
Proverbs 31:26 - She opens her mouth in wisdom, / And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
This one was a really tough one for me. I want things done my way when I ask and on my time. If that means I have to get on Hubby's case 10 times in one night, so be it. But sometimes (or maybe all of the time) I need to let go and let God. I did learn this week that Hubby does get things done when I ask. I've been prefacing with, 'I don't want to keep bugging you so this is the only time I'm going to ask, can you please...." And, no, I'm not being smart about it either, I have tried to be as sincere as I possibly can be. I don't want to be a nag...ever... I think if I can learn to have a little bit of patience with the strength I get from the Holy Spirit then the Holy Spirit is also going to be working on Hubby. Now that I see nagging as a hindrance to the Spirit's work, it is much easier to stop before I ever start. I pray that it is the same for you!
Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife. I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for! I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home. Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage... ;)
Pray for Him.
Jennifer notes, "Take your concerns to God. Faithfully lift up your husband in prayer every day, and you will likely notice a transformation not only in him, but in yourself, as well."
Philippians 4:6-7 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 - Pray without ceasing.
This one was easy! With everything that has come with Hubby's promotion - the questions, the stress, the fights, the change - the only thing I know how to do is pray. This week, I focused a lot more on specific prayers for him. This allowed me, if even for a few moments, to put my own feelings aside and do my best to simply be what he needs me to be. It was hard sometimes. But I know for sure that God opened the door for me to see things through Hubby's eyes for a while - and it brought me to tears. He is dealing with so much, going through so much...and all I was doing was complaining that he wasn't himself at the end of the day. Which would have made complete sense if I had just stopped to think for only a moment. Prayer brought me back to Love. And Love showed me where I was falling short. I have also seen a small change in him: a little more hope, a little more motivation...
I'm not going to stop this, I'm going to follow the directions of 1 Thessalonians and pray without ceasing. It is the only way he and I will get to the other side of this unscathed.
Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife. I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for! I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home. Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage... ;)
Emphasize His Good Points.
Jennifer notes, "Sure, he has his faults (as do you), but dwelling on them will only make you (both) miserable. Choose instead to focus on those qualities in your husband that you most admire."
Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
FINAL REPORT:
This was a tough one....two weeks in the works. Which is a sad truth. You see, Hubby took a new promotion recently and it has really added a lot of stress to both of our lives. The end of the day has resulted in him being extremely tired and (he would admit) a little more cranky. Unfortunately, instead of me being the supportive wife I should be I kept harping about all the things he wasn't doing or being. At the end of last week I realized I hadn't once tried to emphasize his good points. I never told him how proud I am that he was promoted to such a good position so soon and at such a young age. I never thanked him for taking on the added stress so that he could be the bread-winner. I never told him he was doing a great job with all of his added responsibilities.
Well, the beginning of this week didn't go so well either...it is so easy to keep being the "same old." But I realized toward the end of the week that I really needed to turn things around. So first I left him an "I'm Proud of You" note on the table one night - he got it the next morning at breakfast. (It was part of a printable set of note-cards I got from The Dating Divas, you just have to sign up for their newsletter). Then, over the next couple of days I sent him random text messages to tell him all the things I thought he was good at, like encouraging me, working hard, etc.
It was so very worth it! Our Sunday was so blissful! We spent the morning snuggled in bed, went to church, celebrated the dedication of a friends dear baby girl, and then came home and snuggled some more. We decided on a sushi night and headed out for dinner, laughing, talking, and smiling the whole way there. We ended the night with ice cream. Even though it was a pretty normal day, it was one of my very favorite days. After a rough few weeks, Sunday was the first day we not only didn't fight, but we reveled in each other's company! I haven't smiled like that in awhile. I truly believe it is a memory I will treasure forever - the calm after a storm. And all I had to do was change my attitude - stop focusing on the negative and refocus on the positive!
