This story isn’t quite the one I thought I would be
writing. But it is one I am proud of and
thankful for, despite the imperfections.
Early on in our pregnancy they discovered a slight
abnormality with my placenta – a condition called circumvallate placenta. I won’t even try to explain it as I don’t
fully understand it myself. I know it’s
a pretty rare condition and most of the time it goes undiagnosed. But basically it put me at a slightly higher
risk for things such as impeded fetal growth, placental abruption, other
similar issues, and, worst case, still birth (most often when the condition goes monitored).
We met with a specialist in Pittsburgh who wasn’t concerned at all, put
our minds at ease, and told us she figured we would have a very normal
pregnancy and she wouldn’t need to see us again. To be on the safe side, she recommended
having a growth scan at our usual office every 4 weeks.
Which was fine with me – just more opportunities to see our little
Peanut!
So we diligently went to the scans every 4 weeks and
everything was going great. After an odd
growth jump at 36 weeks, they decided to schedule me for one additional scan at
39 weeks, just to check on things if he hadn’t arrived yet.
38 weeks – I’m 3cm dilated.
I left the office relatively anxious – I was 2cm when I checked into the
hospital with our first and she was here 6 hours later (her birth story is here). I was relatively sure I wouldn’t even make it
to our 39 week appointment. Contractions
came off and on for the next week, but no active labor, no trips to the
hospital, no baby yet.
So I head into our 39 week appointment anxious to see if
things had progressed any further. I
went for my scan first and then I was called back to see the midwife, as usual. As she comes in she asks, “Are you ready to have this
baby?” “Yes!” I mean, of course. What woman at 39 weeks is going to say no to
that question?!? But she stops and looks
at me, “No, I mean, are you ready to have this baby tomorrow? Because he needs to come.”
According to our scans, his growth wasn’t looking so
great. His belly hadn’t grown at all in
3 weeks. And his growth was a bit
asymmetrical – the belly in the 20th percentile with his head in the
80th. While it wasn’t
extremely urgent, they decided it would be better for him to be out than in so
we could be sure he was getting proper nutrition.
I was heartbroken.
Induction was not a part of the plan.
Our birth plan is all natural. No
drugs. No intervention. Aelah’s birth had been such a beautiful
experience. And we had picked a
different hospital that was more natural-friendly this time around. So I had high hopes. But I knew induction made things a bit more
difficult. Pitocin = more pain. And that it also put us at a higher risk for
intervention. But, ready or not, it was
time.
We went in the next morning ready for anything. I was willing to discuss pain meds, but only
if it got bad enough. I was prepared for
a very long day. Pitocin started a little before 7am. Shortly after, they broke my water. It was a slow start. I walked the halls for awhile, sat on a birthing
ball, rocked – the contractions were getting stronger and closer together. They actually didn’t have to increase the
Pitocin as much because things were progressing pretty quickly.
The first time they came back to check my progress, a nurse
relatively new to the maternity wing checked me – “oh! I think she’s at 9cm,” I
was ecstatic…until my midwife rechecked – only 4-5. Oye.
Only half way. But it started to
get pretty intense from that point forward.
I started to hyperventilate because of the pain. I wasn’t breathing quite right. Shallow breaths and using my lungs instead of
my diaphragm (something that also happened with my daughter…but at the pushing
stage). My hands went tingly and then
tensed to the point that I couldn’t move them.
It was really distracting and I couldn’t focus on getting through each
contraction, making it all worse. At
this point, I had a moment of panic and kept telling my husband and my mom that
I couldn’t do it. I was going to need
those drugs! But, the good coaches they
were, they kept telling me that I could, that I was almost there – the whole
time, helping me refocus on my breathing and rubbing my hands and back. I switched positions in this process and
eventually got a hold on my breathing and started to feel my hands again. That made dealing with the pain a WHOLE lot
easier!
As push time came
closer, they did end up having to give me oxygen – but that also helped my
breathing, which helped the pain. In
this transition one of the nurses offered me Statol a few times to help me
relax. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I
kept saying no. But I knew if they
checked me again and I wasn’t much further, something was going to be
necessary.
They left us alone for awhile and a contraction hit so hard
and so sudden, I knew something was different.
I should have had the nurse come check right then.
But I waited through a couple more horrid push contractions before I
told them I knew it was time. They checked and I was given the clear. Of course,
at that point, I had to wait for the doctor to show. Our midwife had been in at one point, so I
asked if she was going to be coming – but she was over at the office, which is
right across the street. They told me
they could get her. But I knew the
doctor was already there. There was NO
way I was going to wait with everything in my body telling me to push. There is no pain like the pain of keeping
your body from doing what it wants to do in that moment. I was writhing as we waited for the doc –
literally lifting myself off the bed with each contraction. I think it was actually only 3 contractions
before I was able to push – but it felt like eternity.
I never opened my eyes through that whole process. I heard the doctor tell me I could push. And I did.
While screaming. Twice. Not very productive. I got out of my head, focused on breathing
correctly, and the next few pushes were much better. I still can’t figure it out, my midwife
thinks it may be how his head presented – but the pain of pushing was three
times as bad as it was with my daughter.
I hadn’t wanted an episiotomy (had one with my daughter, 3rd
degree) but I was about to tell the doctor to just cut me if she needed to when she
told me she was going to.
When I had Aelah, she came head, shoulders, knees, and toes
– all at once. The relief from that push
was incredible. And I felt that same
relief with the next push. I was done,
he was here! Except I wasn’t. It was only his head. And, again, what felt like eternity, but was
only one or two pushes later, he was on my belly. He was here now!! I could breathe again, it was all over. And in that moment, almost all of that
morning had already been forgotten.
There was meconium present when they broke my water, so they
had to take him pretty directly (he stayed in the same room). I got my few stitches while they looked him
over. It was a process. I was trying to focus on him, but I was still
in a lot of pain and trying to reorient myself after the whole experience. Before I knew it, he was back in my
arms.
The hospital we were at encourages “the Golden Hour” of skin
to skin AND a good first latch in that time – so he was all mine for a whole
hour. Within minutes of getting him
back, he started trying to eat his hands.
It took me a moment to realize he was hungry – he latched right
away! Nursed twice in that first
uninterrupted hour.
It was beautiful. He
was born at 11am, which meant labor was just barely over 4 hours. Absolutely incredible when you stop to think
about it. It wasn’t the “perfect”
experience. But it is ours. And I will treasure it forever.
But given the choice, I definitely would not opt for an
induction again. 😉 And I have mad respect for all of you who
have suffered with Pitocin for an entire day…or more.
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