We Have Been Married for FIVE Years!!

5 years.

I have been married for FIVE years!

It is absolutely unreal.

Yesterday morning at breakfast we were talking about how different our life looks now.  And how it probably isn't exactly what we imagined 5 years ago.  On the not-meeting-par side of things, I definitely thought we would have more money.  And neither of us ever imagined we would live in a town smaller than where we grew up.  I probably thought we would have at least one more kid but I'm sure Hubby thought we wouldn't even have Miss A yet.  haha.  I saw myself not working at all (possibly volunteering, but not working).  On that note, I NEVER, EVER thought I would be teaching sex ed (yikes!).  And I definitely pictured a house with pictures on the walls (currently, the only room we have decorated is the nursery...and it is super cute!).  



But there are so many things that are better than we could have ever imagined.  Having all of my family in one place (one house in fact) is super unexpected (especially the addition of a sister-in-law).  We both love the jobs that we have - especially because I'm getting paid to work at a place where I very easily could have ended up volunteering!  I never thought I would enjoy talking to junior high and high school students about sexual integrity - but every time I leave that classroom, I am glowing from the inside out.  God somehow managed to allow me to have my dream job (behind the scenes at a non-profit) AND allowed me to be a *mostly* stay-at-home mom.  But more importantly, we absolutely love being parents - more than I ever thought possible.  I think that is the biggest unexpected curve ball - how much you love your kids.  Even if I had known 5 years ago that she would be a reality today, I couldn't have anticipated the joy that overflows from my heart as I kiss her goodnight.  5 years ago, I could have never dreamt up the journey that brought Hubby and I here today.  I have seen us both grow in phenomenal ways - usually by looking back. 

God brought us together.  He brought us here.  I'm sure he had a good laugh at our 5 year "plans."  What He gave us was so much better than what we ever asked for, so much better than we ever imagined.  I can't wait to see where the next 5 years takes us.

So with that being said....here's a fun guess:

In 5 years we will have at least 2 more kids (maybe more).

We will have finished our bedroom suite and painted every wall in this house.

I will be homeschooling Miss A.  Or unschooling.  Maybe.

My walls will be decorated.....maybe......

We still won't get the whole "parenting" thing but we will love it and have fun in the middle of the mess.

Justin and I will be growing even more.  Closer together, closer to God.

Outside of those hypothetical ponderings - only God can know.

But I can't wait to see what He has in store.

So far, so beyond good.

Our Story (Part 2): The Proposal

After a full school year of dating long distance, Hubby decided to move to Oklahoma to be near me since I still had a year of school left.  That was in June.

I expected him to propose at any time after that.  But he took his sweet time.  ;)  Summer ended and school began.  I had wanted a fall wedding.  We could go home over fall break and it would be gorgeous - autumn leaves, crisp air, you get the picture.  Once night while we were watching a movie at his place, he came around the corner, got down on one knee, and asked, "Bri, will you (*Insert longest pause of my life here*) give me some popcorn?"  I about killed him.  October quickly arrived and our fall break plans included.......nothing special.  Or so I thought.  He told me on Friday that I needed to prepare for a special day on Saturday.  I knew he was going to propose.  I kept asking him how to dress.  He eventually told me casual in the morning and fancy for the afternoon.  

I drove to his apartment the next morning fully anticipating that night to be the moment I finally said yes.  After hanging out at the apartment for awhile, me anxiously awaiting the surprise agenda for the day, we headed out.  Hubby had decided we were going to eat lunch at one of our favorite places - Big Truck Tacos (mmmmm) so we headed to that part of the city to waste some time.  One of his job sites was over that way so he drove there to show me around.  We happened to drive past our favorite coffee shop, Cuppies & Joe, which I just happened to notice was closed.  

After driving around the job site, we headed back past the coffee shop.  He pulled in the parking lot.  I told him they were closed but he insisted we get out.  There were a couple of girls who were walking down the sidewalk ahead of us - they walked up to the coffee shop door and turned away because they were closed.  I looked at Hubby, "I told you so."  But he pulled me forward.  Despite the "CLOSED" sign hanging on the door, he opened the door and walked in like he owned the place.  The shop is an old house.  And they left it very "homey."  Each room is set up with pieces of furniture - tables, sofas, big comfy chairs.  It's adorable.  Well, one of the rooms had a vase of flowers, a chai tea (my personal choice since I don't like coffee), a coffee for Hubby, our favorite cupcakes - red velvet & german chocolate, and a picture of our official first date (the trip to Falling Water).  I realized in the moments it took us to walk in the door and into the room that the proposal was not going to wait until that night.  It was happening now!

Hubby read me a poem he wrote that detailed our very own story and ended with popping me the question!  I quickly said yes!  My ring was perfect.  And he still managed to surprise me by asking me in the morning instead of in the evening.  He did say later that he completely forgot to get down on one knee because of his nerves.  But I confessed that I hadn't even noticed.

Unbelievably Happy...with scrumptious cupcakes!  :)

They tweeted about us!!

We did still go to lunch at Big Truck...which was scrumptious!

That afternoon was spent on the phone with family and settling on a tentative date.  My parents were set to have a wedding in December.  But with school, I thought that was just a little too soon.  So we planned to be wed over springbreak in March.

We ended the evening with a very romantic dinner at Benvenuti's Ristorante, which, as Google Maps describes, is "Gourmet Italian Fare in Romantic Digs."  They have THE best truffle french fries!  

Very much wish this restaurant was in PA.  :(

It was the perfect day.  One I will never forget.  And one I can't wait to tell our daughter someday.

Were you surprised by your proposal??  Or did you see it coming?

Baby Stuff: Dear Husband

I wrote this a few days before my due date and planned to give it to Hubby the night our baby girl was born.  I actually forgot about it in all of the excitement but gave it to him at some point the next day.  ;)

I wrote this letter to show my husband that our marriage was still and will be a priority in my life.  Yes, we have started another chapter, but adding a member to our family will not change the way I feel about him!  

Dear Hubby,

Today will forever change our lives.  Today our Baby Girl was born!  I still can't believe we are parents!  Us....parents....even though this is something I've wanted since the day we said "I do," it still terrifies me.  We are officially responsible for another human being.  Ah!

Anyways, that all isn't the point of this letter.  There are actually two things I desperately want you to know.  And never forget.

First, you are going to be an amazing father.  And I mean that with all of my heart.  I have no doubt our little girl is going to have you wrapped around her finger.  I know you will want to give her the world.  I love that!  I also know that you are going to teach her how she should be treated as a woman as well as how to ride a bike.  You will dread her first crush, her first date, and the day you walk her down the aisle.  And because she knows how much you love and walk with the Lord we will be able to trust her decisions when it comes to guys anyways.  But when they break her heart, because they will, I know your shoulder will be there for her to cry on every time.  I also know I'll have to convince you to not strangle those boys, no matter how truly terrible they might be.  I hope you know how much I believe in you when it comes to this 'dad thing.'  You are going to be amazing!

On another note, I know that a baby, now matter how precious she may be, will change our relationship.  And while I am pretty sad that our 'just the two of us' chapter has come to a close, I know our marriage is strong enough to weather any change - no matter how small or how big.  ;)

I want you to know how much I truly love you - with all of my heart.  

I am going to do my best to always put you first.  You deserve it.  Our family deserves it.  You might need to remind me from time to time.  And while I may get mad at first, I will eventually remember you are right.  Every day I will strive to love you more.  Then someday, far from now, when we're empty nesters, we will be even more in love than today.  I know that watching you be a dad will make that easy.  But I want to be more intentional about 'dating' and keeping that spark alive because you are so worth it!  I never want to lose what we have - our affection, our silliness, and our willingness to follow where the Lord leads.  At this point in our marriage I am so proud of us, so proud of you!

I am so excited for our future.  I can't wait to watch our Baby Girl grow and change every day.  I can't wait to see how we grow as a family.  God is before us so we cannot fail!  Here's to another chapter on our journey - the start of a new adventure!

I love you!!

Every Moment

Yep, it is that time again.  The time of year when you look back and reflect upon all of the craziness of the past year.  A whole year!  How can you fit that into a 140 character tweet or a Facebook status or even a blog post?

Every day things change.  Every moment brings a choice, big or small, and those choices change the course of history.  This past year for Hubby and I has been overwhelmingly joyous and difficult.  Some changes brought laughter and fond memories.  Other changes brought pain and tears.  But through it all I am amazingly thankful for a few things:

1. That God has been with us through it all.

I can honestly say that without this assurance, without the complete knowledge of His presence and love I would have not gotten through the past year the past couple of months without Him.  Regrettably, because of some changes and poor choices on my part, my time with Him has been lax and less than ideal.  And I miss that.  I have grown so much but I know that if I had daily been in His word, daily setting aside time to be with just Him that I would have grown so much more. Thankfully, He loves me anyways.  How amazing is that!?!

2. Our marriage is stronger.

Between the good and the bad, I can definitely say that Hubby and I are better because of it.  We have made some major life changes and decisions this past year - from uprooting our lives, jobs and all, to starting the process of buying our first home, things have been stressful to say the least.  But I feel like we are closer than ever.  In the past few months we have actually attended two separate couples classes.  While I can't give you bullet points of what we have learned (without looking at my notes anyways), I can tell you that we fight better (and less) and we are both a little less selfish.  

3. Friends and family.

I don't know how people survive with only surface relationships.  I cannot imagine going through life without true connections.  God has given us a wealth of amazing people in our lives.  We wouldn't be here today without their love and support.  We have been given laughter, shoulders to cry on, and free labor!  ;)  And so very much more.

I am so, so excited for the year to come!  We have hopes and plans but I know God's probably got different ones.  ;)  But regardless of what the future holds, I can continually strive to make every moment better.

So as of today, I commit to:

• Laugh more.  Essentially that means more intentional time with friends and family.  Because let's face it, the laughter they bring me is much more authentic than anything TV or Facebook has to offer...
• Do more.  Staying with the idea of less TV and Facebook I want to get outdoors and away from screens.  Being healthier means being active.
• Breath more.  Worry less.  I need to remember, in the heat of the moment, just exactly Who holds me and my future.
• Write more.  God has given me a passion and, dare I say, a talent, to write.  I need to use it more than every once in awhile.  I need to use it often.  He has given me talents for reasons I may not even know.  How can He use my talents if I never do?  Going to give it my best!

 .........

What about you?  What are you thankful for in the past year?  And how are you going to better yourself in the coming year?

The Wise Woman

I try to read one chapter of Proverbs a day - since there are 31 chapters, it is easy to read through the whole book in a month and just start over again at the beginning of next month.  And it only takes a couple of minutes since they are so short.  But those short chapters contain a vast amount of wisdom.  My dad, a pastor, said the other day, that he is amazed at how he learns something new every time he reads through Proverbs even though he has been doing it for years.  If you aren't doing this already, I highly recommend it - I promise you, you will learn something.

Anyways, I explained all of this, because today's Proverb hit me like a slap in the face.  So much so, that I set aside my daily study and instead studied the 1st verse of Proverbs 14. 

Proverbs 14:1 - The wise woman builds her house, / But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.

I read that a couple of times and asked myself the obvious question: Am I building my house up or am I tearing it down?

The answer? Depends on the day. 

I'm not okay with that answer.  Justin and I are currently attending two couples classes together, yep, you heard right, not one, but two!  :)  And I am participating in a woman's study.  That's 3 times a week that I hear about what my role is, how I can do better, and how I'm doing well already.  It gets me thinking an awful lot, and maybe that is why this verse jumped off of the page, danced in front of me, and then proceeded to slap me in the face saying, "Here's your wake up call!"  

Everything I'm learning boils down to this - am I building my house up or am I tearing it down?

When I wrote out my thoughts, I made a couple of lists:

Tearing down = nagging, whining, yelling, sulking, lying, cheating, avoiding

Building up = encouraging, thanking, loving, complimenting, supporting

These lists are, by no means, exhaustive, but they are a beginning.  If I were to evaluate all of my actions in a day, put each action in the "tearing down" or "building up" list - which would be longer?  Would most days in the week have a longer "tearing down" list?  Or am I constantly building, adding a brick here and some mortar there??

I want my "building up" list to be the longest list always, ever day.  I want my house to be on a firm foundation, put together with love, and made to last.  But that means I need to make some changes.  I might have to start out small but if I can put one brick up instead of taking one down in a day - I'm on the right track!  No one said she built her house quickly, it says she builds her house - meaning it is a constant process!  Slow and stead wins the race.  Slow to anger that is...  ;)

So who's with me?  Here's to less nagging, less whining, more encouraging, and more loving.  Let's go get our yellow hard hats and get to building!  :D
       

Respect Challenge: Week 15

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)  For ALL of the 'Respect Challenge' posts check out the tabs at the top of the page!

Don't Complain.

Jennifer notes, "Nobody wants to be around a whiner or complainer. It is grating on the nerves...accept the things you can’t change, courageously change the things you can, seek wisdom to know the difference."

Philippians 2:14 -  Do all things without grumbling or disputing.

Would you like a little cheese with that wine?  I've heard that about a million times in my life.

 
If you didn't notice, it took me 2 weeks to get through this one.  I hate to admit it, but I whine and complain quite a bit.  This challenge definitely made me more aware of it.  If you aren't aware, we are going through quite a bit of change, plus vacation was coming up.  I realized last Monday that I was non-stop complaining the whole first week.  I was grumpy, miserable, and extremely stressed out.  And I definitely let it show.  I prayed this week that God would give me a couple of more seconds to think before I spewed out words without thinking.  And He did that.  I pray He continues to do so.  I don't sound as miserable and ungrateful if I don't open my mouth without thinking.  And my husband doesn't get so annoyed with me.  It's definitely a win-win situation.  I hope it doesn't take you all two weeks to overcome this challenge!  Good luck!

Respect Challenge: Week 14

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)  For ALL of the 'Respect Challenge' posts check out the tabs at the top of the page!

Cherish Togetherness.

Jennifer notes, "I love to sit near my husband, whether at home or away. Our church shares potluck dinners every Sunday afternoon, and although the men and women normally sit separately to visit, I like to position myself close enough to my husband that I can listen to the conversation, as I think everything he says is so interesting. At home, I’ll take my book or handwork to whatever room in the house he’s working in, just to be close to him, because I enjoy his company, even when neither of us is talking."

Proverbs 31:27 -  She looks well to the ways of her household, / And does not eat the bread of idleness.


Hubby and I see very differently when it comes to cherishing togetherness.  This made the challenge rather difficult for me.  Where as I am completely at peace and enjoying every moment of us "working" alongside one another - him doing what he enjoys (usually TV) and me working on crafts or blogs or budgets or anything I can do while sitting in the living room in his presence.  However, Hubby does not like all of my 'doing' - he would rather our togetherness be me sitting beside him, watching TV, doing nothing.  This week was an especially hard week for that because we are in the midst of a lot of change, I'm heading up a big even that falls in early September, and on top of that we leave for a 2 week vacation in just 13 days (Yay!).  I feel like I've got to constantly be doing in order to keep my head above water.  It took me a lot of effort to put my things aside and cherish our togetherness in a way that I knew Hubby would enjoy.  One night he asked me to just rub his head (this is a usual go to when he is stressed).  Cute right?  ;)  It took a LOT of will power to put aside what I  was working on and give him the attention he needed.  

I have two places that I really love to cherish our togetherness.

1. At church.  I love laying my hand in his lap while we listen to the sermon and soak in God's word.  Or holding his hand while we pray.  I believe that because we put God first in our relationship, that we somehow feel even closer to one another when we our in His presence and His community.
 
2. In the car.  We currently live 45 minutes from our church and about an hour and fifteen from our family.  We usually make the long drive to see our family about twice a month and the trip to our church about twice a week.  This leaves a lot of time for us to talk.  And while I am, admittedly, still 'doing' a lot on my smart phone, we have most of our tough talks and life discussions in the car.  Once we move (which is potentially very soon), I think I'm going to really miss those car rides.  
 
On a side note, our Love Dare challenge today is to not do something we usually do so that we can take that time and do something our spouse would rather do.  It is the perfect conclusion to a week of cherishing togetherness, don't you think?  I love how God works! 

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Respect Challenge: Week 13

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)  For ALL of the 'Respect Challenge' posts check out the tabs at the top of the page!

Prepare His Favorite Foods.

Jennifer notes, "Next time you’re planning meals, give special consideration to your husband’s preferences."

2 Corinthians 13:12

¹³ She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
¹⁴ She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
¹⁵ She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.

This weeks challenge was not as simple as I wanted it to be.  I plan the menu two weeks in advance...so I had to start thinking about this a little bit early.  Unfortunately, Hubby does not like to help me pick out meals.  I thought when I told him he could have anything it would be easy, but not so much.  He picked one meal he wanted, just one.  That left me trying to pick out some other meals he would appreciate.  The problem is, I think cheap, especially towards the end of the month.  The other problem, Hubby doesn't generally like cheap.  He has expensive taste.  lol.  He doesn't complain much about our meals and I try to change things up often and try new things...but in my constant switching around meals and adding new things, I can't keep track of what he likes, what he loves, and what he doesn't really care for.  *sigh*  

I think I did okay though.  Due to our plans changing this weekend, we're actually only getting to his one choice tonight.  And I know he is looking forward to it.  I just have to remember to cook it the right way.  Ha!

I hope you have a little bit better luck than I did with this one.  And if he is usually the one that does the cooking or meal planning, maybe you could take a swing at it this week! Have fun!

I have added the recipe for Hubby's one choice below for inspiration.  If you like Thai food, or Asian food, or even something a little bit different than the norm, definitely give this a try!  I love it as much as Hubby does!  I originally found it on All Recipes but we have tweeked it a bit to fit our tastes and here is the outcome:

Thai Chicken
 

Ingredients: 

• 1/2 cup coconut milk
• 2 tablespoons fish sauce (you can substitute soy sauce)
• 2 tablespoons minced garlic
• 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro (we usually use frozen, leftover from before)
  
• 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
• 1 teaspoon curry powder
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 2 boneless skinless chicken breast halves, cubed
• 3/4 cup rice vinegar
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons minced garlic
• 1 jalapeno, seeded and finely chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• Rice

Directions

1. In a saucepan, combine vinegar, water, sugar, 2 teaspoons minced garlic, jalapeno, and salt; bring to a boil.  Reduce heat to low, and simmer until liquid is reduced, about 5 minutes.  Stir sauce from time to time.  Remove from heat and allow to cool before use.
2. In a shallow dish, mix together the coconut milk, fish sauce, 2 tablespoons minced garlic, cilantro, turmeric, curry powder, and pepper.  Add chicken and mix well.  Optional: Cover and refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight. (We usually forget to marinate and it still tastes great!) 
3. Preheat grill or skillet and lightly oil.
• If grilling discard marinade, and place chicken on the grill.  Cook until slightly charred and juices run clear.
• If cooking on the stove top, place chicken and marinade into skillet.  Cook until chicken is no longer pink.  
4. Brush chicken with sauce before serving. Serve remaining sauce on the side for dipping (Hubbies favorite part! Me, I just dump all of my dipping sauce on top and mix it all together...much easier!).
5. Serve with (or on top of) rice.

 

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Respect Challenge: Week 12

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)

Kiss Him Goodbye.

Jennifer notes, "I once read about a study done in Germany which found that men whose wives kissed them goodbye every morning were more successful than those who weren’t kissed. Success and respect often go hand-in-hand, so be sure to send him off right, and don’t forget to greet him with a kiss when he returns home, for good measure."

2 Corinthians 13:12 - Greet one another with a holy kiss.    ;)

I absolutely LOVE this weeks challenge!  And I will admit, it was an easy one.  From Day 1 of our marriage we have made it an effort to always kiss each other goodbye and to say 'I love you' before departing.  Not to be grim, but you never know what could happen until you see one another again.  I would rather leave with a kiss than harsh words over a mindless argument.  As far as greeting one another with a kiss, that has just become a recent habit, and one I have hopefully sealed thanks to this challenge!  You see, when we were first married, Hubby worked outside in the dirt and 102(+) degree weather we dealt with in Oklahoma.  He would come home covered in mud, chiggers, and sweat.  While I didn't mind giving him a quick kiss, he wanted to be showered and clean before he would let me touch him, even just a quick peck on the cheek was forbidden.  lol.  Now that he is in management, and it doesn't get quite as hot here in PA, he allows me to greet him as soon as he gets home.  I like that.  :)

Now go give that man of yours a great big old *smooch!*

This is a throwback for sure...almost a year before our engagement. <3 font="">

With my new blog makeover, I have included a page that references each of the Respect Challenges from Week 1 on!  Directly above the picture slideshow or the post date (depending on which view you are in) are a few options "Respect Challenge" is listed.  This way you can go through the challenges on your own time or at your own schedule!  Here's to being the wife your husband deserves...one step at a time.

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Respect Challenge: Week 11

Follow Learning to Be 31 with Bloglovin

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)

Eyes Only for Him.

Jennifer notes, "Don’t compare your husband unfavorably to other men, real or imaginary. It is neither fair nor respectful and will only breed trouble and discontent. Avoid watching movies or reading books that might cause you to stumble in this area, as well."

Psalm 19:14 - Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart / Be acceptable in Your sight, / O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.  

Proverbs 4:23 -  Watch over your heart with all diligence, / For from it flow the springs of life.

I have to admit, it is hard, very hard sometimes, to not compare Hubby to fictional characters in my favorite books or movies.  But the truth of the matter?  Hubby is not Mr. Darcy.  No one is Mr. Darcy.  Or Edward Cullen.  Or Peeta.  Or Prince Charming.  Fiction is just that, fiction.  It might be based on a true story, but the truth is this: we watch movies and read books because they offer something different than our normal lives, an escape of sorts.  I don't think we should stop reading or stop watching movies.  I just think we have to remember that we are all human, our husbands included.  After all, if they only filmed the good parts, most real life marriages would probably make a pretty good movie too!  Remember today to not compare your husband to anyone, real or fictional.