My Dear Son

My Dear Son,

I never dreamed I would be writing this.  To know that I am days away from being a mom to a boy!!  Yikes!! 

I wrote a letter to your sister a long time before she was born.  And I wanted to do the same for you...but time kept slipping away.  I'm so glad I got to do this before your arrival.

You are already so loved, so cherished.  From the moment we knew you existed you have been loved.  It has never wavered and it never will.  You fill a place in our hearts we didn't even know was empty. 

I cannot wait to hold you, to count your fingers and toes, to see what color your hair is.  I can't wait to see your Daddy learn what it means to father a son.  It will be a new adventure for sure!  And one we are so excited (and a wee bit terrified) about.  I cannot wait to see your sister love you even more.  She already talks to you ever day, rubbing my belly and giggling as she tells me just exactly what you say.  She is so excited to have a brother! 

And while I know you two won't always get along perfectly, I pray you will always have each other's backs.  I pray you know what it means to treat each other with respect, honor, and love. 

As you move right now, I am reminded that our whole world is about to change.  You take us from 3 to 4.  You keep the score even, 2 boys, 2 girls.  You moved Mom and Dad's room across the house.  And you brought a bit of healing to a wounded Momma's heart - my rainbow baby. 

I pray for you often already, although probably not near enough.  I pray you always serve the Lord, and like your sister's name, that you would find your place in Him.  I pray your heart is strong and that it always points you in the right direction.  That as you make each choice in life, you listen to the Lord, and think of His kingdom first.  I pray that your daddy and I set that drive within you, that you first see it modeled in us.  My biggest hope is that because of the relationship we have with the Lord that you would be desperate for the same - desperate to know Him and serve Him, to do His will and further His kingdom.  I pray that you love people like He wants us to - relentlessly and without expectation - know you will get hurt in the process, but jumping in anyways.  I hope you give more than we do, love more than we do, and change the world in bigger ways.  My child, I already pray for the wife you may meet one day - that she will be loved by you like your father loves me.  And I pray she will love you back, even more than I do - if that's ever possible. 

This and so much more goes through my mind constantly.  There will be times I want to move the world for you and know that I can't.  I will have to watch you struggle, and stumble, and sometimes fall - knowing that it is for your best.  But I will always be there for a hug, or a shoulder, or just a listening ear. 

I love you to the moon and back and then some, my sweet, sweet, son.