This week, for a lot of reasons, I have been thinking quite a bit. Yep, more so than usual. Scary isn't it? :P If you could live another life, how would it be different?
Now I want to clarify - I absolutely love my life. God has surprised me in so many ways and has taught me so much. I wouldn't ask to be anywhere else than where I'm at right now. But it is always fun to wonder what my life would have been like if I had been a different person. What would my life look like if I hadn't wanted to be a mom? If I hadn't decided that small town life was what I craved?
I like to think my life would have led to Broadway. I absolutely love to sing. God has given me a talent that I love to use - especially in the kitchen or the shower.... hehe. Every once in awhile I put in my Wicked soundtrack and sing at the top of my lungs. I may not be Idina Menzel but the dishes in my kitchen sink would never know my skin isn't painted a lovely shade of green! I close my eyes and go to the zone. Broadway doesn't know what they are missing! Picture it with me:
I decide to skip college and take dancing classes (because, trust me, I need them). Then, once I've figured out exactly how to use these two foreign objects other people call feet, I will move to New York City, living with 5-10 other people (because who can afford an apartment there?) - all of us trying to make it big. I'd take a job at a diner as a waitress, entertaining guests with intermitent singing and hastily choreographed dance routines. One day, a producer walks through the door and he is amazed by my unswerving talent. I start training for Broadway's next #1 show the following day. My name is on signs as tall as buildings, right in the middle of Time Square! Say goodbye to multiple roommates and late night shifts - I have made it!
haha. Yeah right. First of all, there's no way I would survive more than a night or two in NYC. I am not made for the city....at...all. Second, and probably more importantly, even Anna Pavlova could not teach me how to dance. My brain and my feet just don't communicate. I walk into walls and trip over air - add any obstacles and your asking for trouble. Its like watching a syfy movie on a low budget - it just hurts. But seriously, I decided a long time ago that God and family would come first in my life. Broadway just doesn't fit that bill for me. I want to be home more than I'm away. I don't want to have to choose between my career and my kids or my husband. I don't need the added pressure and temptation that fame brings to get in the way of my relationship with the Lord. That isn't the life I was called to.
But in another life...I'd be all over that! ;)
But this life, the one I'm actually living, not the one in a New York diner, still has potential for me to live out a dream. There is another part of me that desperately wants to write a book. Which is why I love writing these blog posts to begin with! I want to be a world-changer, a life-changer. I want to open people's eyes to what lies between the lines of Scripture - I want to show them what comes to the surface when you take the time to do your research. I want people to get excited about something they've read 100 times before and just missed. God's word is at our fingertips and so often it becomes just another book that sits on the shelf and gets dusty. And even if we read it everyday it is so easy to just read the words and go through the motions. Those words should bring life to every person that reads them - they should set a fire to the soul! I want to help make that happen! So someday, just maybe, you will walk into a Christian bookstore and my name will be there in a pretty feminine print on the end cap. It might not be a playbill or a giant sign in Times Square...but it would still be pretty awesome! We shall see what God has in store...
No matter what, I'm happy. And no matter what, my goal each day is to live a life God would be proud of. It might not happen everyday, but I keep trying. Every morning brings a new day. And every day brings a new start.
Paul said it best, "I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus" - Philippians 3:14
If you could dream up a different life, practical or not, what would it look like?
What dreams do you have that could maybe, just possibly, happen someday?