Respect Challenge: Week 12

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)

Kiss Him Goodbye.

Jennifer notes, "I once read about a study done in Germany which found that men whose wives kissed them goodbye every morning were more successful than those who weren’t kissed. Success and respect often go hand-in-hand, so be sure to send him off right, and don’t forget to greet him with a kiss when he returns home, for good measure."

2 Corinthians 13:12 - Greet one another with a holy kiss.    ;)

I absolutely LOVE this weeks challenge!  And I will admit, it was an easy one.  From Day 1 of our marriage we have made it an effort to always kiss each other goodbye and to say 'I love you' before departing.  Not to be grim, but you never know what could happen until you see one another again.  I would rather leave with a kiss than harsh words over a mindless argument.  As far as greeting one another with a kiss, that has just become a recent habit, and one I have hopefully sealed thanks to this challenge!  You see, when we were first married, Hubby worked outside in the dirt and 102(+) degree weather we dealt with in Oklahoma.  He would come home covered in mud, chiggers, and sweat.  While I didn't mind giving him a quick kiss, he wanted to be showered and clean before he would let me touch him, even just a quick peck on the cheek was forbidden.  lol.  Now that he is in management, and it doesn't get quite as hot here in PA, he allows me to greet him as soon as he gets home.  I like that.  :)

Now go give that man of yours a great big old *smooch!*

This is a throwback for sure...almost a year before our engagement. <3 font="">

With my new blog makeover, I have included a page that references each of the Respect Challenges from Week 1 on!  Directly above the picture slideshow or the post date (depending on which view you are in) are a few options "Respect Challenge" is listed.  This way you can go through the challenges on your own time or at your own schedule!  Here's to being the wife your husband deserves...one step at a time.

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Respect Challenge: Week 11

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Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)

Eyes Only for Him.

Jennifer notes, "Don’t compare your husband unfavorably to other men, real or imaginary. It is neither fair nor respectful and will only breed trouble and discontent. Avoid watching movies or reading books that might cause you to stumble in this area, as well."

Psalm 19:14 - Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart / Be acceptable in Your sight, / O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.  

Proverbs 4:23 -  Watch over your heart with all diligence, / For from it flow the springs of life.

I have to admit, it is hard, very hard sometimes, to not compare Hubby to fictional characters in my favorite books or movies.  But the truth of the matter?  Hubby is not Mr. Darcy.  No one is Mr. Darcy.  Or Edward Cullen.  Or Peeta.  Or Prince Charming.  Fiction is just that, fiction.  It might be based on a true story, but the truth is this: we watch movies and read books because they offer something different than our normal lives, an escape of sorts.  I don't think we should stop reading or stop watching movies.  I just think we have to remember that we are all human, our husbands included.  After all, if they only filmed the good parts, most real life marriages would probably make a pretty good movie too!  Remember today to not compare your husband to anyone, real or fictional. 

Dig a Little Deeper

Before you start reading, I should probably note that this is a little different from my normal approach.  This is a little less devotional like and a little more informative.  As I studied these verses I felt that I needed to share what I was learning in order to show how important it is to not just read your Bible, but to study it.  You would be amazed what you learn when you just dig a little bit deeper.  So let's take a look at this passage together.  As many (but not all)of the Psalms are, this one was written by David, King David.

Psalm 22:11-18
11 Be not far from me, for trouble is near;
For there is none to help.
12 Many bulls have surrounded me;
Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled me.
13 They open wide their mouth at me,
As a ravening and a roaring lion.
14 I am poured out like water,
And all my bones are out of joint;
My heart is like wax;
It is melted within me.
15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
And my tongue cleaves to my jaws;
And You lay me in the dust of death.
16 For dogs have surrounded me;
A band of evildoers has encompassed me;
They pierced my hands and my feet.
17 I can count all my bones.
They look, they stare at me;
18 They divide my garments among them,
And for my clothing they cast lots. 

David seems pretty distraught right?  Now take a moment and reread that but think of Christ as being the author instead of David.  

I could have "read" this Psalm hundreds of times as I was "reading" through my Bible but until I slowed down, until I stopped to actually pay attention to what I was reading, I never even realized that this was a reference to Christ and the crucifixion.  Looking back, it should have been more than obvious - especially in vs. 16 where David writes, they pierced my hands and my feet...

But lets take a closer look at each of those verses to discover just how foretelling this is of the crucifixion.

Vs. 11 states Be not far from me, for trouble is near; / For there is none to help.  In Matthew 26:36-46 we see that those closest to Christ, His dearest friends, Peter, James and John, could not even stay awake while the betrayal of their Savior was imminent.  Trouble was near and Christ did not have a single soul to help him (Henry).

In vs. 12 the bulls of Bashan have surrounded him.  When I read this, I thought, this can't be a reference to Christ.  It has to be David because I don't even know where Bashan is...  This same reference is used in Ezekiel 39:18 as well as Amos 4:1.  You see, "Bashan was a district beyond the Jordan, very fertile, where they were accustomed to fattened cattle, which became, in consequence of the excellent pasture, the largest, as well as the fattest of the country" (Clarke).  This metaphor means that these 'bulls' were the most wicked, violent, and potent enemies around (Wesley).  I can easily visualize those of high rank who were out to get our beloved savior: the chief priest, the governor, etc.  Vs. 13 also includes this group but changes the metaphor to a lion, which may be more relate-able in our day and age.

Vs. 14 is actually up for debate.  Clarke notes that "the images in this verse are strongly descriptive of a person in the deepest distress; whose strength, courage, hope, and expectation of...relief, had entirely fled" and does not believe that this lines up theologically with Christ's suffering and must, therefore, be solely applied to David.  I disagree.   For one, Christ was fully human, I am sure He was afraid to die such a painful death.  After all, he was sweating blood in the Garden of Gethsemane.  He was tortured, pulled in two directions - that of the flesh, that of God.  You cannot tell me He was not suffering.  I believe He suffered in a way we cannot humanly fathom, His distress was beyond compare.  Secondly, whether I am correct or not, when I read I am poured out like water, the imagery brings to mind the spear that pierced Christ's side.  Blood and water poured out of His side.  The next line reads And all my bones are out of joint.  It was customary for the soldiers to break the legs of those being crucified in order to speed up the process of suffocation and death.  However, Christ was already dead when they checked and they did not have to break any of His bones, a crucial part of fulfilling Scripture for the Passover lamb was not allowed to have any broken bones (Exodus 12:46).  However, I imagine that from hanging in an awkward position, only nails holding His body in place for so long, that some of His bones felt or were disjointed...yet unbroken.

My strength is dried up like a potsherd, / And my tongue cleaves to my jaws; / And You lay me in the dust of death.  The Hebrew for 'potsherd' is literally that for pottery (Strong's H2789).  Think about how dry a clay pot is - the amount of moisture in a clay pot is the amount of strength he has left.  I think that same idea of dryness carries over to the next line where he speaks of his tongue 'cleaving' or 'sticking' to his jaws (Strong's H1692).  I have been there - if you have ever gone under for surgery you know this exact feeling - your mouth is so dry that your tongue sticks to your cheeks and your teeth like a gnat sticks to fly paper.  It is a horrid feeling.  Christ even says from the cross "I am thirsty."  Then moments later He gave up His spirit, or was lain in the dust of death as David puts it in this Psalm (John 19:28-30).  

The next verse, 16 is the most obvious for me since it references the piercing of hands and feet.  I feel like that verse should have jumped off of the page and screamed, "Hello...this Psalm isn't just about David.  Take a minute to really read this would ya?"  For dogs have surrounded me; / A band of evildoers has encompassed me; / They pierced my hands and my feet.  But sometimes I am just plain oblivious.The first interesting thing here is that it references dogs surrounding Him, not bulls or lions but dogs.  If you remember from earlier, the bulls represented those of high rank, such as Caiaphas or Pilate.  The dogs, then, would represent those of lower rank such as the pharisees who brought Him before the bulls in the first place (Henry).  But the really neat thing about this verse is the obvious part, the piercing of hands and feet.  First of all, "These words cannot with any probability be applied to David, but were properly and literally verified in Christ" (Wesley).  And secondly, these words were written hundreds of years before the Roman punishment of crucifixion had even been invented (Storylines)!  Talk about being inspired by the Spirit!  David didn't really have a reason to write this - as far as we know, he was never pierced at his hands and feet, nor did he have any clue that someday in the distant future that would be a form of capital punishment.  I am baffled in a good way at this information, amazed would probably be a better word.  I believe that Scripture was inspired, breath by the Holy Spirit.  But to see the evidence of it, to know that there is not another single explanation for something like this, it is incredible!

I cannot read the rest of these verses without solely visualizing the crucifixion of Christ.  David has become a distant thought, a weak memory.  17 states I can count all my bones. / They look, they stare at me.  I want you to go back to that image of Christ hanging on the cross, only three nails keeping His body attached to two boards - his body would have been distended, you could have easily counted His ribs.  Matthew Henry even believes that "His blessed body was lean and emaciated with labour, grief, and fasting, during the whole course of His ministry," making Him look years beyond His age and adding to this imagery.  We move onto the mention of staring and know that "Crucifixion was a slow process, and we recall the long hours in which the crowd sated their hatred through their eyes" (Expositor's).  Their staring would have been a relentless torture, knowing that He was dying to save the very people who were killing Him, hating Him now.  Verse 18 is yet another instance that "cannot be applied to David, but was literally fulfilled in Christ" (Wesley): They divide my garments among them, / And for my clothing they cast lots.  When I hear the term 'cast lots' my mind immediately refers to the crucifixion - there is no question.  You see, "though it was no great instance of Christ's suffering, yet it is a great instance of the fulfilling of Scripture in Him" (Henry).

Isn't it incredible how much you can learn from really reading the word of God?  Reading His word everyday can be helpful.  But instead of taking that 10, 15, 30, 60 minutes or more a day you spend simply reading a passage, take that time and pick one or two verses and really study.  There is so much more beneath the surface that is just waiting to be discovered!

I detailed in this post what resources I use to study and how they can help you.  It would be a great place to turn if you aren't sure where to start.  If you don't have the time to check it out now, bookmark the page and come back to it later.  Get more out of your time with God.  Start now by clicking the following link:  Love His Word

Another post details why even adding a journal to your reading time can be beneficial.  This is a simpler approach than the one give above and can be a good way to take a baby step in the right direction.  If you are intimidated by the word 'study,' start here and work you way up.  Any step in the right direction is a great step!  Click the following link to get started today: Writing, Reading, Applying. 

Share in the comments below some of your tips for studying His word and digging deeper.

Bringing Change

I am taking a moment today to bring change.  I regularly shop at Family Christian.  I am a "catalyst" member and often shop there for gifts and books.  I love the selection they have as well as the sales and coupons they offer.  I do not, however, love the fact that they are open on Sundays.  After discovering this little tid-bit of information, it kept eating at me.  It isn't right.  A Christian company, a Christian non-profit ministry, that is based in retail is open on Sundays?  Something just didn't sit right.  I talked to a couple of employees and discovered that it is very frowned upon among most of the employment (understandably right?).  I asked if I could write the company and they told me to check the website but they were sure it wouldn't do any good.  But if no one does anything, if no one takes a stand, it will never change.  Therefore, I came home today and drafted an e-mail.  After reading it over a few times I sent it out. 

I am asking you to do three things today.

1. Do not, under any circumstances, shop at Family Christian on a Sunday.  I have been tempted when I know I need to grab a gift and I could be at the store in under 5 minutes.  But it isn't worth it.  If I go in there on a Sunday, I am telling the employees that are there that their time at work is more valuable than their time with their families.  I am telling them that I don't care that they have to work on a Sunday.  I am giving them a reason to be away from their family and their church family, a reason to not rest.
2. Share this blog with all of your Facebook friends and anyone else you can think of.  Get them on board.
3. Send Family Christian an e-mail or write them a letter.  Here is their customer service contact information:
• Family Christian
  5300 Patterson Ave SE
  Grand Rapids, MI 49530
  customerservice@familychristian.com
   

I have copy and pasted my e-mail below and I'm giving you permission to use it.  Copy and paste it right into your own e-mail, change the personal information, add or take out anything that you would like, and send it out.  The more mail they get (electronic or otherwise) the more likely they will listen.  The squeaky wheel gets oiled right? 

Dear Family Christian,

It has recently come to my attention that you are open on Sundays.  When I discovered this I was baffled.  Why would a Christian company be open on Sundays?  But I quickly remembered that you were a for-profit organization and I dismissed it, though I still thought it inappropriate.  Then I received an e-mail letting me know that 100% of your profits are now being given.  Through this e-mail it was brought to my attention that in late 2012 you became a non-profit ministry.  While this is an exciting feat, it leaves me wondering why it is necessary to remain open on Sundays, even if it is only for a few hours.  There are organizations such as Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-A that are "for-profit" and do not have the word "Christian" in their name, yet are still closed on Sundays.  Truett Cathy, the owner of Chick-Fil-A says being closed on Sundays says two things: "One, that there must be something special about the way Chick-fil-A people view their spiritual life and, two, that there must be something special about how Chick-fil-A feels about its people" (emphasis added). 

That quote in itself should be enough to make Family Christian reevaluate their need to be open on Sundays, but I would like to expound.  Years ago there was not a single place open on Sundays, but in our wealth driven society, things slowly started to change.  And sadly, Christians stood by and allowed it to happen.  We even made it a habit to go out to eat as soon as service let out, encouraging this new found way of thinking.  Now, instead of being a day for family and God, Sundays have become just another day to make money and to spend time at work instead of at home or church.  What is it saying to the world if you are no different than the store next door?  You do not stand out nor are you set apart, you are just like the fallen world, you have lost the saltiness you so desperately need.  What does it say to people driving by that your store is open on Sunday?  Or your customers?  Or your employees?  To me, it says you do not value your employees enough to give them one single day of rest and time to be with their church and family.  To me it says you are more about money and less about faith.

Yes, we have already entered into the Sabbath, into His rest.  But God still commanded us to have a day of rest, which you are not doing as a company.  It is not good for man to not rest.  What kind of an example are you setting for your employees and customers? Even when God created the world, He took a day to rest.  He set the example for us, now it is time for us to set the example for the world.

I, Brianna Sherman, am calling you out today, holding you accountable.  I believe that Family Christian should take a step of faith and close their doors on Sundays.  See how God will bless your efforts at preserving a Sabbath, a day for God, family, and rest.  Instead of being a part of the world and mainstream society, make an effort to be different, to be set apart.  Be the salt and light, set the example for the rest of the world.

Sincerely, a Catalyst Member,

Brianna Sherman

Respect Challege: Week 10

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)

Respond Physically.

Jennifer notes, "Did you know that the way you respond (or don’t respond) to your husband’s romantic overtures has a profound effect on his self-confidence? Don’t slap him away when he tries to hug you or make excuses when he’s in the mood. Your enthusiastic cooperation and reciprocation will not only assure him of your love, but will make him feel well-respected, too."

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 - The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.  4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 
   
I'm a pretty private person, so I'm not going to share too much about this subject.  BUT, I think it is safe to assume that for a lot of women, this is difficult.  He is always "in the mood" while I am rarely "in the mood."  One of the biggest struggles I have is that every time Hubby kisses me or wants to cuddle or hold my hand, etc, I question his intentions and what he really wants if you catch my drift.  This week I tried to not make any smart comments and I just enjoyed the sweet kisses and cuddles.  :)

I also think it would be great to take this week's challenge to the next level and initiate some physical moments yourself!  Don't wait for him to do it.  I'm pretty good about this when it comes to holding hands or a quick kiss here and there...but anything else?  Not so much.  I have recently stumbled across a blog called The Dating Divas.  It not only has some great ideas for fun date nights but they have an entire section dedicated to intimate moments.  While a lot of them are cheesy, it can make things fun and give you the courage to initiate some intimate moments of your own.  Check it out:
The Dating Divas Intimate Moments.   Yes, Hubby and I have used a few of these...but I'm not sharing which.  ;) 

Good luck and have fun this week!  *wink wink*

12 for 12

Psalm 21:1-6
1 O Lord, in Your strength the king will be glad,
And in Your salvation how greatly he will rejoice!
2 You have given him his heart's desire,
And You have not withheld the request of his lips.
3 For You meet him with the blessings of good things;
You set a crown of fine gold on his head.
4 He asked life of You
You gave it to him
Length of days forever and ever.
5 His glory is great through your salvation,
Splendor and majesty You place upon him.
6 For You make him most blessed forever;
You make him joyful with gladness in Your presence. 

As I read these verses, I couldn't help but think, "If only our leader was like this...if only he recognized God in all that he did..."  Wouldn't our nation, our world be a much different place? 

David recognized that everything he was, everything he had was because of the Lord.  In these six verses, David references 12 different blessings: gladness, joy, fulfillment of his heart's desire, fulfillment of the request of his lips, blessings of good things, a crown of fine gold, life, length of days forever, glory, splendor, majesty, being blessed forever, and then joy and gladness again. For each and every one of those things mentioned, God is given the credit and glory.  Go back and count how many times David says "You" which is a reference to God - it is 12.  12 references to God for 12 blessings in his life. 12 for 12.

There is debate as to whether or not David actually wrote this or if it was Hezekiah or even someone else writing about one king or the other.  The Expositor's Commentary even states that this passage "is so idealised or rather spiritualized, that it is hard to suppose that any single monarch was before the singer's mind."  I disagree.  Knowing what we do of David - that he was a man after God's own heart, I truly think he could have written this passage in one of those moments where everything was going right.  We've all had those moments, if only briefly - you are on Cloud 9, floating above the world in utter ecstasy, nothing can bring you down.  I think David wrote this Psalm during a joyful moment such as this.  He was truly thankful and was giving God the glory.  He recognized that "there is no true nobility but of the soul, and the soul has none but what it receives from the grace and salvation of God" (Clarke).  

Remember that truth as you go about your day.  Did you get a raise this month?  Did you somehow manage to pay your bills when you were sure there was no possible way?  Did you receive a phone call from someone you really needed to hear from?  Or maybe something wonderful happened that you can't quite explain?  It was God.  All of it.  He has given us everything that we have - all the good in our lives can be traced back to Him.  Like David, we must remember to give God the glory for every blessing He has given us - 12 for 12.

Respect Challenge: Week 9

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)

Smile.

Jennifer notes, "Smiles spread happiness. Smiles have even been shown to create happiness. Smiles are contagious. And a smile makes any woman more beautiful."

Proverbs 31:25 - Strength and Dignity are her clothing.  And she smiles at the future.  
 
Smiling can do SO much good, from making you more attractive to others to boosting your immune system and lowering your blood pressure.  Not only can it do much good for YOU but also for others around you since smiles are known to be contagious! (About.com)  Maybe smiling can change your marriage, for if you smile, he will smile, you will both be healthier, happier, and more attractive!

So far this challenge has been interesting.  I feel so super cheesy.  I think I'm trying too hard - I get that full teeth, I'm smiling for no reason, awkward smile going on.  I think it makes me look more like an axe murderer than a loving wife.  lol.  Since the cheesy fake smile wasn't working for me (and I was receiving some pretty curious looks from Hubby) I decided I needed to smile for real.  That meant choosing to be happy even at the end of a really long day.  I smiled.  And he smiled.  And we were so much more pleasant to one another.  A good week.  A very good week.