Respect Challenge: Week 3

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)

Give Him Your Undivided Attention. 

Jennifer notes, instead of multi-tasking, "when your husband is speaking to you, make a point to lay other tasks aside, look into his eyes, and listen to what he is saying with the goal of understanding and remembering his words. 

 James 1:19 - This you know, my beloved brethren.  But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. 

Philippians 2:4 - Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interest of others.
 FINAL REPORT:

Sometimes not multi-tasking can be a huge challenge for me.  And I mean HUGE.  I am constantly doing two things at once or at least thinking or planning in my head.  This means truly listening can be a little hard.

I have found over the past week that a few things really work for Hubby and I.

1. If we are both driving home from work, we talk on the phone.  Yes, I am driving, but I am still able to really listen to what he has to say.
2. We have started walking/running together.  While I am still able to breath, we can easily talk without distraction...and when I am hyperventilating all I can really do is listen!  ;) 
3. We attend church 45 minutes from where we live.  This means that any time we go to church or a church-related activity we have at least a good hour of talk time if not more.  Most of our serious conversations happen during this time - we just have to be sure to turn off the radio or I catch myself singing instead of listening.       

This challenge for me meant that I have to be incredibly intentional about tuning out any distractions - whether that means turning off the radio or setting down the baby blanket I am crocheting, I need to make an effort to do so. 

The Pre-Op of Prayer

Have you ever had surgery before?  I have.  At the ripe age of 21, I had my gallbladder removed (apparently it wasn't functioning properly).  Even though it is a minor surgery, I was still pretty nervous going in.  But they prepare you well.  The process goes much like this:

First, they prepare the patient.  Obviously, they take all your vitals to ensure that your body is ready and capable for surgery.  But they also educate you on what will be happening pre-op, during surgery, and post-op - preparing you mentally.  And, of course, for me and many others, there is someone there to pray with you and prepare you spiritually.  Yet somehow in all of that preparation they neglected to tell me that all of those doctors and nurses would see me naked....and that was my final thought before I drifted to sleep.  Nice, huh?  ;) 

Then they listen and address any concerns you might have.

And finally, it is time for surgery - where all the magic happens.  In a nut shell...they (hopefully) fix the problem.

God answers prayers almost exactly like that.  

Psalm 10:17-18 
17 O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble;
You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear
18 To vindicate the orphan and the oppressed,
So that man who is of the earth will no longer cause terror.

The author of this Psalm had previously gone into great detail of how the wicked were oppressing the meek, the poor, the afflicted.  And it seemed, to both the wicked and the oppressed, that God was ignoring this evil - the oppressed were quickly losing hope.  But in these concluding verses, we see that the author of this Psalm knows that God has heard their prayer: O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble.  How?  One cannot be sure.  We can either assume that it was known because God had answered previous prayers and can be counted on to do so again or there may have been some sort of spiritual assurance: "To pray and immediately feel the thrilling consciousness 'Thou hast heard,' is given to those who pray in faith" (Expositor's Commentary).     

Then, the author goes on to show how after hearing our prayer, God will answer.  Yet, we must observe how that answer comes.

First: You will strengthen their heart... This is the hardest part for us to grasp.  It is when we are in the midst of raging storms or valley lows that we pray the most and feel as if God does not hear us.  But He has!

Psalms 6:9 - The Lord has heard my supplication, The Lord receives my prayer.

John 9:31 - ...but if anyone is God-fearing and does His will, He hears him.

1 John 5:14-15 - This is the confidence we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.

And that is just the start!  His word promises us that He hears.  So why isn't He answering right away?  Because He is strengthening, or preparing, our hearts.  Much like the nurse helped to prepare me for surgery, the Lord must first prepare you spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically before He fixes the problem.  Can you imagine if they hadn't prepared me for my gallbladder surgery?  I can see it now, pulled right out of the middle of a horror film - they start poking me with needles I don't even know if I need, then I start falling asleep as I desperately try to fight and stay awake because I have no clue what is happening...and then I wake up weak and with stitches in my abdomen.  What happened??  Did they steal my kidney??  Did they implant a tracking device??  Okay, okay...that might be a little extreme.  But do you get the picture?  We need to be prepared before the problem can be fixed.

Then: You will incline Your ear... 'Incline' in the Hebrew is qashab meaning "to hear, be attentive, heed...hearken, pay attention, listen" (Strong's H7181).  Though He has already heard your prayer, He will now be attentive to what you are saying just like the nurse answered the incessant amount of questions my mom and I had before they wheeled me away.  

And last but, most certainly, not least: He will answer.  In the case of this Psalm, the Lord would vindicate the orphan and the oppressed.  According to the Gesenius' Lexicon, 'vindicate' in this scenario means "to defend any one's cause."  God may not answer you in the way you expected but He has already prepared your heart for the answer He gives - He will not leave you hanging high and dry!  He is a miraculous surgeon who knows the best way to fix our problems, even when we may not understand.

"The prayer of the humble, like a whisper amid the avalanches, has power to start the swift, white destruction on its downward path; and when once that gliding mass has way on it, nothing which it smites can stand."

- The Expositor's Commentary

I challenge you today to look at your prayer life a little differently. Are you hung up on an unanswered prayer?  Trust in the truth that He is preparing your heart - you are currently in pre-op!  Are you holding back because you don't think God is listening?  He hears you, His word has promised us that.  Keep talking to Him, keep crying out - "He who continues to cry shall infallibly be heard" (Clarke).  Your prayers aren't answered the way you want them to be?  God is the only surgeon in the entire universe who is incapable of making a mistake.  It may not be easy but there are many times I have to humbly admit: "You know better than I."  

In fact, my gallbladder surgery was one of those times.  For me, that surgery was supposed to be the answer to a long road of health problems.  And instead of being the answer I thought it was going to be, it was merely a roadblock. A couple of months after my surgery I began presenting the symptoms I had had before surgery - removing my gallbladder didn't solve a thing.  I was later put on medicine that has still not resolved all of my health problems.  There are days I wonder why God hasn't answered our prayers for answers in my medical life.  On those days where I get nothing accomplished, I have to cancel plans, and I'm in miserable pain...it takes everything in me to say: "You know better than I."  But, I am learning that He uses our unanswered prayers to prepare us for things we can't even fathom.  I am already stronger because of this.

I pray that you use the unanswered prayers in your life as an opportunity to grow instead of an excuse to shut out God.  He has heard and He is holding you close - we just have to make it through pre-op!  And thank goodness, we don't have to be stripped down to nothing for Him to fix us!  ;)

Respect Challenge: Week 2

Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife.  I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for!  I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home.  Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage...  ;)

Honor His Wishes. 

Jennifer notes, "Give weight to what your husband thinks is important. Make those things a priority that matter most to him, whether it’s having dinner ready when he gets home from work or keeping the house tidy or limiting computer time. Don’t make him ask twice."

Philippians 2:4 - Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interest of others.
 
FINAL REPORT: 

I never realized how often I say "no" or "not now."  Hopefully that has changed for the better.

Most days I want to come home and relax instead of heading straight to the kitchen.  But I know that Hubby really loves it when dinner is ready as soon as he gets out of the shower.  I did my very best to make sure this happened each night this week.  I also made an effort to not be on my computer as much, it bothers him that I always have to "do."

A little un-coincidentally, this week was the perfect week for honoring hubby's wishes since he got a major promotion.  While he was excited - it put a lot of added stress on top of the usual.  This meant asking me to help him shop for polo's (a much more in depth process than you might imagine), asking me to help with some other work stuff I have kept putting off, and a stress-induced migraine.  It was a challenge for me to take care of him as HE saw fit instead of how I saw fit.
 
And on the light sight of things: one night this week Hubby asked me, "Could you hold my feet with your hands and make them warm?"  Is he crazy?  First of all, who asks that question?  Second of all, I hate feet.  And I especially hate touching feet.  But I remembered that this week I'm supposed to honor his wishes.  So I did....but only for a couple of minutes.  ;)
 

Winter Fun!

Yep, this blog is a little late in coming (it is currently the last day of April and 70 degrees outside).  But, I took the pictures with the intent to blog and I finally found the time to do so!  ;)

Regardless, we had a blast!  It was a full day of fun and some of these activities were repeated throughout the rest of our winter days.

First, we got out our "ice skates," or rather, a couple pieces of wax paper.  This idea, from Toddlers Through Preschool, could be used all year round and was a HUGE hit!  We tried it on every surface area we could think of in the house and probably spent about a half an hour just skating around. 

I even joined in on the fun!  ;)

Then we headed outside for some good old-fashioned fun which included sled-riding, making snowmen, and snowball fights!  But, of course, I had to include this wonderful idea from Rockabye Butterfly - spray-painting the snow!  With a few spray bottles, water, and a few drops of food coloring, the kiddos didn't notice their cold hands anymore (even though I sure did...)!

As we came inside, we brought some of the snow with us so that we could have even more fun painting!








This idea is from Housing a Forest.  Again, just food coloring, a little water, and some paint brushes and we had fun for quite awhile.  She suggested using water color paper so that after all the snow melted there would be a painting but I just used what I had on hand - the kids loved it!  And they thought that it was "magic" how all the colors disappeared after the snow melted.  

We ended the day by making sun catchers.  Check out The Fairy and the Frog for the original idea.  I just grabbed a couple of old containers and a bunch of little nick-nacks I had floating around my craft room.  The kids put whatever they want into the water, stirred it with a paintbrush and then we stuck them in the freezer overnight.  I made ours a little thick so it took 2 days for a complete freeze.  Then we hung them outside and learned how the sun melts ice...even when it is cold outside.  

This was a fun-filled day but we never had any "melt" downs.  lol.  I encourage you to keep some of these ideas on hand for next year - I sure will!

Respect Challenge: Week 1

25 Weeks to Being a Respectful Wife

I found a list of 25 ways to communicate respect to your husband over at Loving Life At Home.  This has inspired me to take 25 weeks and make each of these things a habit.  I want to be the wife my husband dreamed of, I want to be a wife he is proud of, one he talks about, one he doesn't have a problem loving like Jesus does.  I think blogging weekly will help keep me accountable as well as give you inspiration!  I encourage you to do this with me!  It never hurts to try to be better....at anything.  I'll share what I do each day and what Hubbies response was (if there was one).  And, no he doesn't know about this (I can even hide it from him when I post it on Facebook).  The only way he will find out is if one of you tells him!  ;)  I'll tell him when I'm finished but for now I want this to be our little secret...SO much fun!  

So week one it is:

Choose Joy. 

Jennifer notes, "Please don't use moodiness as an attempt to manipulate your man, but in all things rejoice, because that's the right thing to do."

1 Thessalonians 5:16 - Rejoice evermore.

Philippians 4:4 - Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!


FINAL REPORT:
The beginning of the week went pretty well. Hubby said once: "why are you being so lovey? I'm so confused." So he did notice I was being a bit different. And one night I noticed he was really trying to be happier as well - my joy was infectious! The best part: when I was joyful there was much less bickering.  One night Hubby asked me if I was going to finish hanging his clothes.  I took a second to think before I reacted and I did it joyfully with a smile on my face (and not a snarky one either)... It is amazing what a change in attitude can do. When I chose to be joyful it was refreshing - I felt complete...like I was doing what I was supposed to do and I was truly happy about it!  When I chose to be joyful about the things I don't necessarily love doing, it changed my whole outlook.  This is probably the best thing I learned through this challenge.

Another positive was that when I was being moody and pessimistic, I noticed almost instantly. Most of the time I would apologize for my moodiness as soon as I realized. There was one night I'm sure Hubby thought I was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....

Sadly, choosing joy was much more difficult than I thought it would be some days. All in all, though, it was pretty much like any other week. But I was much more conscience of my attitude and moodiness. That in itself is a big step! :)

If you take some time to "choose joy" let me know how it goes!

Do Something Crazy

Praise is defined by Dictionary.com as "the act of expressing approval or admiration."  

What act of praise, what act of admiration or approval sticks out most in your head?  For me, a ton of romantic comedies and chick flicks pop into my head.  In the movies (and yes, sometimes in real life) guys do some ridiculously crazy things to express their admiration.  But even though we know it is ridiculous and crazy we still love it!

For instance, in the movie Hitch, he tackles a car!  Just so he can tell her how he feels, how he really feels.  Or what about Up?  He moves his house the whole may to South America with a bunch of balloons as one last act of admiration (or praise) for his dear departed Elle.  I even read a news story where a man had an ice company turn their yard into a winter wonderland (snow and all) so his wife, who was dying of cancer, could have the winter she wanted.

When we truly admire someone, when we want to give them our praise and approval, there is something in us that wants it to be over the top, ridiculous, crazy!  Maybe that is because God desires our over-the-top praise for Himself and has placed that potential in our souls, in our inner-most being.

Psalm 9:1-2
1 I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart;
I will tell of all Your wonders.
2 I will be glad and exult in You.
I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.

David really knew how to praise God.  His admiration over flows in just two simple verses.  When studying a passage, I always scribble down my initial impression: "This is how we should start every day!  Giving thanks and praising God - it would make such a difference in me and everyone I encounter if my lips overflowed with praise for God as I got out of bed each day."  Can you just imagine!?!

Here, David gives us a sort of outline for what praising God should look like.


First and foremost, if you are praising God, expressing your approval or admiration for Him, it should always be done with your whole heart: I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart.  This is essential.  Let me say that again, this is essential...without your whole heart, no matter how crazy your act of praise or admiration is, it is irrelevant - "it is only when the whole heart is employed in the work that God can look upon it with acceptance" (Clarke).  

I will tell of all your wonders.  The Gesenius Lexicon defines 'wonders' in this case as "things done wonderfully, miracles of God, both in creating and sustaining the world."  And 'tell' is translated from the Hebrew word caphar meaning "to count, recount, relate" (Strong's H5608).  So, we should recount the miracles that God has done, not only in our creation, but in our lives, in our sustenance.  We need to always be mindful and thankful of what He has done in our lives - focus on what you have, not what you do not have.  

I will be glad and exult in You.  It is not always easy to be joyful is it?  When life is going our way, joy is easy.  And when it is, "whatever occurs to make us glad, our joy must pass through it, and terminate in God only...not in the gift so much as in the Giver" (Henry).  You see, He should always and forever be the source of our joy, no matter what life brings our way.  And that means we should be joyful and glad even when it is difficult.  You see, "Obsessed people," or people that would do crazy things to show their praise and admiration, "know that true joy doesn't depend on circumstances or environment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God" (Francis Chan, Crazy Love).  Remain joyful at all times and always remember to give Him the credit!

I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.  This, I believe, is where the crazy comes in - where the houses-flying-by-way-of-balloons and jumping-on-top-of-cars kind of stuff comes in.  Yes, we sing in church with everyone else (and let's be honest, some of us don't even do that).  But does our embarrassment get in the way of truly praising God?  When I was going to school we went to a college-age service on Tuesday nights and it was always phenomenal.  I left there each week knowing I had felt the presence of God in a powerful way. And I truly believe it is because it was a worship-the-way-you-want-to kind of atmosphere.  For some reason, that place, that service made you feel less inhibited - I was never afraid to raise my hands in awe of God's presence and power.  But in most places, I will admit, I'm too embarrassed to do so.  I'm sure many of you can relate.  But David danced in the streets when he was praising God - he was NEVER inhibited or embarrassed or afraid of what others might think (see 2 Samuel 6:14 and 1 Chronicles 15:19)!  And we can hardly sing for fear of what the person in the pew behind us might think!  If you want to praise God - do something crazy!  Show your admiration in a memorable way.

I challenge you today to take your praise of God to the next level.  Make sure your whole heart is in it and then do something crazy.  Let's become a little less inhibited and give God the praise He deserves.  But, please, don't go dancing naked in the streets...people might get the wrong idea....   ;)

The Grass is Always Greener

The grass is always greener on the other side.  It always seems that way doesn't it?  Right now, I struggle with being content in our apartment.  I am so ready to have a house, to start a family, to enter the next stage of our lives.  For others, it is a matter of more money - "I'll be content once I make just $5,000 more a year." Or maybe it is status - "I'll be content once I am VP of the company."  For most of us, we feel that something is lacking - "I will be content once ___(fill in the blank)___.  

But maybe we are looking for that contentment or success in the wrong place?

Psalm 4:6-8 
6 Many are saying, "Who will show us good?"
Lift up the light of Your contenance upon us, O Lord!
7 You have put gladness in my heart,
More than when their grain and new wine abound.
8 In peace I will both lie down and sleep,
For you alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety. 

Verse 6 is two separate lines.  The first line "Who will show us good?" "is the wish of the worldling, the latter," lift up the light of your contenance upon us, O Lord!, is "the wish of the godly" (Clarke). Those people of the world do not know where to turn to for success, joy, and contentment.  They are forever and always miserable wondering who will ever show them any good.  For, "Giving in to the world's idea of success is an attempt to put a Band-Aid over a bullet wound" (Colin Creel, Perspectives).  True success and contentment can only be found in God: "I find now a happiness which earthly things could not produce...such inward happiness as they cannot boast who have got the highest increase of corn and wine" (Clarke).  

King David, the writer of this Psalm, was so joyous and content in Christ alone, that he slept peacefully without a worry in the world.  'Peace' in the Hebrew is translated from shalowm meaning "completeness, soundness, welfare, peace" (Strong's H7965).   Shalowm not only gives us this idea of peace, but of utter completeness - that is the ultimate contentment and success.  I don't know many people who could say they feel complete.  Because society has taught us that the grass is always greener on the other side, it is hard to focus on what truly matters.  It is next to impossible to remember where our true completeness, our success, our contentment, our joy...actually comes from.   You want "the true answer to contentment[?]  Accepting yourself as God made you" (Colin Creel, Perspectives).  To put it another way: "Contentment requires a decision to make the choice to be satisfied with who I am and what I have, rather than to be enslaved to what I lack" (Cindy Sanders of Atlanta, Georgia).  And what about success?  Well, "Where you turn in your moments of pain as well as celebratory moments will determine how successful you are in God's eyes" (Colin Creel, Perspectives).  

When we feel that we are lacking, when we feel that we need more - instead of wallowing and being miserable in what the world can do for us, we must turn to our Father in Heaven and cry out: Lift up the light of your countenance upon us, O Lord!  He will provide a completeness that will allow us to lie down and sleep....to dwell in safety forevermore.