Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife. I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for! I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home. Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage... ;) For ALL of the 'Respect Challenge' posts check out the tabs at the top of the page!
Cherish Togetherness.
Jennifer notes, "I love to sit near my husband, whether at home or away. Our church
shares potluck dinners every Sunday afternoon, and although the men and
women normally sit separately to visit, I like to position myself close
enough to my husband that I can listen to the conversation, as I think
everything he says is so interesting. At home, I’ll take my book or
handwork to whatever room in the house he’s working in, just to be close
to him, because I enjoy his company, even when neither of us is
talking."
Proverbs 31:27 - She looks well to the ways of her household, / And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Hubby and I see very differently when it comes to cherishing togetherness. This made the challenge rather difficult for me. Where as I am completely at peace and enjoying every moment of us "working" alongside one another - him doing what he enjoys (usually TV) and me working on crafts or blogs or budgets or anything I can do while sitting in the living room in his presence. However, Hubby does not like all of my 'doing' - he would rather our togetherness be me sitting beside him, watching TV, doing nothing. This week was an especially hard week for that because we are in the midst of a lot of change, I'm heading up a big even that falls in early September, and on top of that we leave for a 2 week vacation in just 13 days (Yay!). I feel like I've got to constantly be doing in order to keep my head above water. It took me a lot of effort to put my things aside and cherish our togetherness in a way that I knew Hubby would enjoy. One night he asked me to just rub his head (this is a usual go to when he is stressed). Cute right? ;) It took a LOT of will power to put aside what I was working on and give him the attention he needed.
I have two places that I really love to cherish our togetherness.
1. At church. I love laying my hand in his lap while we listen to the sermon and soak in God's word. Or holding his hand while we pray. I believe that because we put God first in our relationship, that we somehow feel even closer to one another when we our in His presence and His community. 2. In the car. We currently live 45 minutes from our church and about an hour and fifteen from our family. We usually make the long drive to see our family about twice a month and the trip to our church about twice a week. This leaves a lot of time for us to talk. And while I am, admittedly, still 'doing' a lot on my smart phone, we have most of our tough talks and life discussions in the car. Once we move (which is potentially very soon), I think I'm going to really miss those car rides. On a side note, our Love Dare challenge today is to not do something we usually do so that we can take that time and do something our spouse would rather do. It is the perfect conclusion to a week of cherishing togetherness, don't you think? I love how God works!
A friend of mine has the sweetest little boy, let's call him Mr. K. He is super adorable and so funny. And he loves his Uncle so very much, in fact, 'Unke' is his best friend. The funny thing is, 'Unke' doesn't let Mr. K get away with anything, he keeps him in line. If Mr. K misbehaves, 'Unke' puts a stop to it. I was just witness to one of these moments. Mr. K left in tears, genuinely upset that 'Unke' had been mean. But when we asked him who his best friend was, he instantly replied "Unke" and crawled right back up into his uncles lap. He knew that even though he had misbehaved and 'Unke' had to correct him, 'Unke' still loved him and was still his best friend. :)
Psalm 26:1-2
1 [Judge] me, O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, And I have trusted in the Lord without wavering. 2 Examine me, O Lord, and try me; Test my mind and my heart.
When I first read this I thought, "Wow, that was bold. I could never go before the Lord that way. No one goes before the Lord that way." And then I wrote in my notes, "It makes you wonder if we are doing it all wrong."
All the commentaries I use agree that David wrote this Psalm when he was exiled because of King Saul. False accusations were running rampant. David's name was being slandered left and right. The only thing he could do was turn to God, the one and only who could know the truth about David's everything - "It is a comfort to those falsely accused that there is a righteous God, who, sooner or later, will clear up their innocency" (Henry).
You see, David was not being self-righteous.He is far from being 'religious' (and therefore arrogant and prideful of his works) here. Instead, he is harnessing the child-like humility that we are called to acquire (Matt. 8:3-4). He knows that perfection is not what he needs to be judged righteously, that what truly matters is his heart. He asks of the Lord, "Test my mind and my heart," he never mentions actions. Yes, we automatically think 'thoughts' when we read mind, but 'mind' is actually translated from the Hebrew word for "kidneys," which back then represented "a seat of emotion or affection" (Strong's H3629). David wasn't asking God to test his thoughts, He was asking God to test his affections. He knew his affections lay in the right place, in Christ rather than the material items of the world. Like little Mr. K in the presence of his 'Unke,' David knew that no matter his imperfections, he still stood just and loved in the presence of the Lord.
Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes we really mess things up. But as long as we are confident that our heart and affections belong to the Lord, we can come to Him boldly and confidently as David did...as a matter of fact, maybe we should...
Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife. I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for! I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home. Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage... ;) For ALL of the 'Respect Challenge' posts check out the tabs at the top of the page!
Prepare His Favorite Foods.
Jennifer notes, "Next time you’re planning meals, give special consideration to your husband’s preferences."
2 Corinthians 13:12
13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens.
This weeks challenge was not as simple as I wanted it to be. I plan the menu two weeks in advance...so I had to start thinking about this a little bit early. Unfortunately, Hubby does not like to help me pick out meals. I thought when I told him he could have anything it would be easy, but not so much. He picked one meal he wanted, just one. That left me trying to pick out some other meals he would appreciate. The problem is, I think cheap, especially towards the end of the month. The other problem, Hubby doesn't generally like cheap. He has expensive taste. lol. He doesn't complain much about our meals and I try to change things up often and try new things...but in my constant switching around meals and adding new things, I can't keep track of what he likes, what he loves, and what he doesn't really care for. *sigh* I think I did okay though. Due to our plans changing this weekend, we're actually only getting to his one choice tonight. And I know he is looking forward to it. I just have to remember to cook it the right way. Ha! I hope you have a little bit better luck than I did with this one. And if he is usually the one that does the cooking or meal planning, maybe you could take a swing at it this week! Have fun! I have added the recipe for Hubby's one choice below for inspiration. If you like Thai food, or Asian food, or even something a little bit different than the norm, definitely give this a try! I love it as much as Hubby does! I originally found it on All Recipes but we have tweeked it a bit to fit our tastes and here is the outcome:
Thai Chicken
Ingredients:
1/2 cup coconut milk
2 tablespoons fish sauce (you can substitute soy sauce)
2 tablespoons minced garlic
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro (we usually use frozen, leftover from before)
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon pepper
2 boneless skinless chicken breast halves, cubed
3/4 cup rice vinegar
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1 jalapeno, seeded and finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon salt
Rice
Directions
In a saucepan, combine vinegar, water, sugar, 2 teaspoons minced garlic, jalapeno, and salt; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, and simmer until liquid is reduced, about 5 minutes. Stir sauce from time to time. Remove from heat and allow to cool before use.
In a shallow dish, mix together the coconut milk, fish sauce, 2 tablespoons minced garlic, cilantro, turmeric, curry powder, and pepper. Addchicken and mix well. Optional: Cover and refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight. (We usually forget to marinate and it still tastes great!)
Preheat grill or skillet and lightly oil.
If grilling discard marinade, and place chicken on the grill. Cook until slightly charred and juices run clear.
If cooking on the stove top, place chicken and marinade into skillet. Cook until chicken is no longer pink.
Brush chicken with sauce before serving. Serve remaining sauce on the side for dipping (Hubbies favorite part! Me, I just dump all of my dipping sauce on top and mix it all together...much easier!).
Have you ever heard someone say that their parents have "set the bar" too high? Or maybe you've heard a teacher or professor say that they set the bar high for their students.
This expression originates from the sport of high jumping, as seen below (English Lesson):
Each time these athletes practice they set the bar higher and higher. And in order to win you must have the bar set higher than your competition.
Now, King David is not our competition, but he set the example for us, and he set the bar high.
Psalm 25:16-18
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted. 17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses. 18 Look upon my affliction and my trouble, And forgive all my sins.
During times of trouble, David knew where to turn and what to do, he set an example for us that really raised the BAR.
We are to:
B - Believe that we are never alone.
In verse 16 David notes that he is lonely and afflicted. We have all been there, troubles can be overwhelming (as noted in the following verse), you feel as if no one understands, no one truly cares, you are utterly alone. But, "The soul that has awakened to the sense of the awful solitude of personal being, and stretched out yearning desires to the only God, and felt that with Him it would know no pain in loneliness, will not cry in vain" (Expositor's). By believing that he was not alone, David was putting the outcome of his situation into the hands of God. He was not counting on his servants or soldiers or family, he was depending on God (Henry). You see, "genuine belief is a life-altering conviction" (Beth Moore, Praying God's Word). Or as another author put it, "A
belief, no matter how sincere, if not reflected in reality isn't a belief; it's
a delusion" (Kyle Idleman, Not a Fan). David could have said he believed he was not alone, but until he acted on it, it meant nothing. If you truly believe you are not alone, then you must act on it! You must put your dependence completely on His shoulders!
A - Acknowledge God's power.
Not only did David do this by believing that God had not left his side, but He also calls for the Lord to"turn to me...look upon my affliction" (16, 18). He knew and was acknowledging the fact that "when Jehovah turns to a man, the light streaming from His face makes darkeness day. The pains on which He looks are soothed; the enemies whom He beholds shrivel beneath His eye" (Expositor's). David knew that a mere look from God would save him from his troubles, just a look! What an acknowledgement of power!
R - Repent
This may be the most important piece of these three verses, David asks for forgiveness. We need to repent of our sins and ask for forgiveness because in order for us to approach the throne of God, in order for Him to be able to look upon us, our hearts must be in the right condition, without blemish and pure in His sight. The word forgive in the Hebrew, nasa', means "to lift, bear up, carry, take" (Strong's H5375). So when we repent and ask for forgiveness, God is taking and carrying our sins for us. This Old Testament word was foreshadowing the significance of Christ. When Christ died on that cross he took our sins, our shame. Because of the cross, we don't have to carry our sin any longer. Instead, Christ does it for us, so long as we repent.
The BAR is set high, but it is set for a reason. The Word of God gives us the answers we need when faced with tough situations. Here, David has shown us what to do when our troubles are overwhelming and it seems we have no place to turn - Believe, Acknowledge, Repent. If you are in the midst of troubles or trials, I challenge you to put this example from David to the test. Take a leap and see if you can jump over that high BAR... :)
I know a lot of you that read this have tried to get pregnant (or are trying). But this is a first time experience for me and Hubby (yep, in case you didn't know, we are...). We have only been trying for a short time (a very short time) but I have been mentally ready for a very long time. I was just waiting on the green light from Hubby. That being said, now that we are trying, I am so impatient. I want it to happen NOW, and I want to know the instant it happens! ;) I read into every little belly ache, every over-reaction, every pimple...but the waiting, the waiting to take that pesky little test, just kills me! My grandma just laughs at us - you guys have it easy, we had to wait 2 months before we were sure. So I guess a couple of weeks isn't so bad...
But today was the first time I felt a punch to the gut and tears welling in my eyes as I read the news on Facebook that friends of ours were pregnant. I am SO happy for them, truly. I just want what they have...so badly. I had to say a quick prayer for strength, for a reminder that God will work things out in His time. I know it is hard, but I cannot understand how hard it is for couples that have been trying for extreme lengths of time. In such a short time for us, I am already aching for that little life to grow inside of me. To experience that first kick, to hear our baby's heart beat, to hold that bundle of joy in our arms (after a completely painless labor....lol, yeah right!)...
Today, I am praying for those moms-to-be that are trying, that are yearning for a blessed child, whether it has been 1 month or 3 years. I pray for strength, for peace and rest in the Father, for assurance of His presence, for continued hope, and for the answer to their prayers. Pray with me! How long did you have to wait for your little miracle? Let's give some words of encouragement to those that are waiting in the comments below!
Everyone knows that in order for a murder mystery (be it televised or written) to be any good, the killer has to be the person you least suspect. I hate it when I'm watching a show or reading a book and the killer or predator turns out to be the person I suspected since Chapter 1. Through the entire story, I just keep hoping I'm wrong and that the twist is still coming, and when it never comes, I'm left disappointed.
A good writer makes their antagonist seem impossible of a crime, they paint them as loving, kind, helpful, and endearing. Usually it ends up being the next door neighbor who brought over cookies every Friday or the VP of a non-profit who put his or her all into the company. We as the reader see their outside actions, their works...but what we don't get a glimpse of until the end is their heart. To us, they were wearing a mask the whole time, making us believe they were something they weren't.
How many Christians do you know that are like that? How many people on Sundays are wearing a mask, pretending to be someone else? Are you one of them?
Psalm 24:3-4
3 Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord? And who may stand in His holy place? 4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart, Who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood And has not sworn deceitfully.
The question, simplified, is this: Who may dwell with the Lord? And the answer is pretty straightforward, however, I would like to expound. What exactly does it mean to have clean hands and a pure heart? To not lift our souls to falsehood or swear deceitfully?
I'm going to work my way backwards on this one and start with the last bit: And has not sworn deceitfully. Basically, the person who can dwell with the Lord is someone who keeps his or her promises, who doesn't say one thing and do another, someone who is honest. God commands us to let our 'yes' be 'yes' and our 'no' be 'no' (Matthew 5:37). He will not accept anything less - we are to be people of our word.
The preceding section says: Who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood. This one is a little bit more tricky. You see, the Hebrew word for 'falsehood' or shav' is also the same word for 'emptiness' or 'vanity' (Strong's H7723). Every commentary I used referred to it as 'vanity' instead of 'falsehood' - most likely because they were using the King James Version which translates shav' as 'vanity.' But it does seem to make sense; one who does not lift up his soul to vanity is one "who [does] not value or desire the vain things of this life, such as honours, riches, pleasures; but makes God his portion" (Wesley). Our vanity often gets in the way of our relationship with Christ. We get too caught up in having more, whether it be more money, more stuff, or a greater title. Americans, and many others, can all to easily lose sight of what is truly important and become the vain beings of the society surrounding us.
Backing up just a little bit more, we see we are to have a pure heart. God wants our hearts to be in the right place. He is the only person who knows our hearts inside and out (sometimes better than we do I think). Therefore He knows our inner most thoughts, our inner most motives, and He wants it to all be pure!
And now we come to the very first thing on the list: clean hands, meaning innocence (Strong's H5355). You see, I think we read verses like this and we get stuck on the 'clean hands' part, we make it too much about what we do. So when we're getting ready for church on Sunday morning, we put our sin in the night stand, take out our mask of perfection and put it on with our 'clean hands' so that everyone can see how perfect we are. We talk the talk and walk the walk. We sign up to volunteer at the food bank, say a prayer from the stage, greet everyone with a smile and a hug, go to the altar after the sermon...because we want our mask to look normal, we want our "perfection" to be the only thing people see, so we must make sure to play the part and play it well!
Unfortunately, as noted above, God sees through that mask. When He looks at you, He doesn't see perfection (and neither do most of the people in the congregation...the only one you are fooling is yourself). But the great news? Thankfully, for all of us, "God
is not expecting totally unblemished perfection.His son alone filled that requirement.He is looking for hearts in constant pursuit
of Him and His righteousness (Beth Moore, Praying God's Word). You see, "the outward will only be right if the inward disposition is pure" (Expositor's). He may not want perfection but He wants us to be authentic.
In Kyle Idelman's book, Not a Fan, he talks about the difference between those who have been around church and God for a good part of their lives and those who are new to Christ and the church. Those that have been around know what to say and what to leave out and just how to act. But those who are new to the church "tell about eating disorders, gambling problems, and drug addictions. They just don't know any better. And I hope nobody tells them that they're supposed to act like they've got it all together. You don't often get to see people without a mask. And it is such a beautiful thing" (74, emphasis added).
Our masks are hideous to the face of God, and let's be honest, they don't do much in the human world either (if you think yours does, then you haven't heard what everyone is saying behind your back...). If you take off your mask, if you become authentic, and less perfect, if you wear your heart on your sleeve, you become so much more becoming, so much more approachable. Church is supposed to be a place where we can come as we are and be accepted, a place to grow with others who don't know what perfection is either, a place to be loved. We cannot truly be loved if we don't take off our masks. And we cannot truly love if we force everyone that enters the front door to don a mask. I challenge you today to take off your mask, wear your heart on your sleeve. You will be amazed at how your relationships change. First and foremost, your relationship with God will thrive once you are being real. And as a result, so will a lot of your other relationships. Learn to love the right way, the real way.
Quick Recap - I am on a 25 week journey to becoming a more respectful wife. I want to be the best wife my husband could ever ask for! I found my inspiration over at Loving Life at Home. Please feel free to join me on this journey...it might even change your marriage... ;)
Kiss Him Goodbye.
Jennifer notes, "I once read about a study done in Germany which found that men whose
wives kissed them goodbye every morning were more successful than those
who weren’t kissed. Success and respect often go hand-in-hand, so be
sure to send him off right, and don’t forget to greet him with a kiss
when he returns home, for good measure."
2 Corinthians 13:12 - Greet one another with a holy kiss. ;) I absolutely LOVE this weeks challenge! And I will admit, it was an easy one. From Day 1 of our marriage we have made it an effort to always kiss each other goodbye and to say 'I love you' before departing. Not to be grim, but you never know what could happen until you see one another again. I would rather leave with a kiss than harsh words over a mindless argument. As far as greeting one another with a kiss, that has just become a recent habit, and one I have hopefully sealed thanks to this challenge! You see, when we were first married, Hubby worked outside in the dirt and 102(+) degree weather we dealt with in Oklahoma. He would come home covered in mud, chiggers, and sweat. While I didn't mind giving him a quick kiss, he wanted to be showered and clean before he would let me touch him, even just a quick peck on the cheek was forbidden. lol. Now that he is in management, and it doesn't get quite as hot here in PA, he allows me to greet him as soon as he gets home. I like that. :) Now go give that man of yours a great big old *smooch!*
This is a throwback for sure...almost a year before our engagement. <3 font="">
With my new blog makeover, I have included a page that references each of the Respect Challenges from Week 1 on! Directly above the picture slideshow or the post date (depending on which view you are in) are a few options "Respect Challenge" is listed. This way you can go through the challenges on your own time or at your own schedule! Here's to being the wife your husband deserves...one step at a time.
